But God...

For God so loved the world that he gave

 his only begotten son that WHOEVER believes

in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.  

John 3:16

But God...

I leave Cambodia tomorrow.  Today a small team of us went back out to Esther's village to see if we could get "grandma" to agree to release her.  She had been given some time to consider this after the last conversation and I was praying that she would give the final okay.  It was also my desire to see Esther, and to say goodbye.

As we walked up to Esther's house we noticed she was not clothed.  Her grandma quickly threw a skirt on her and shoved her out the door to greet us.  It was just odd and my spirit was literally sickened at the thought that Esther's terror might be worse than we first imagined.  As the team began to speak with the grandma they encountered great resistance.  She did not want to let Esther go. It looked like we might be facing a dead end BUT GOD suddenly moved.

A few of the neighbor women gathered and joined the conversation.  They began to speak the truth about Esther's abuse.  "You make her sleep outside."  "You don't feed her."  "You sell her for sex!"   The women rose up in support of Esther and compelled the grandma to finally agreed to let Esther go. I was incredibly proud of these women who had previously looked past unthinkable cruelty and had watched Esther's abuse daily without intervention.  They had seen the true value in Esther and they did the right thing.  It was a miracle. 

Before I left on this mission, I struggled with the thought that a moment might come where I would be required to show the unconditional love of Jesus to the perpetrators involved in the cruelty to these children.  I wrestled so much with this.  How can I love them? They are cruel and evil people!   I literally cried rivers of tears as God showed me the truth of his love for mankind.  When we were at our worst,  our very horrible worst, God showed his greatest act of love for us.  God saw the true value in us and his response was to rise up in love and save us.  I realized how far I was  from understanding that kind of love but I prayed that if the situation came up, I would be able to genuinely represent the love of God regardless of the circumstance.

At the end of the discussion with Esther's grandma she began to sob.  The thought of losing Esther, her financial security, was frightening to her.  Everything in me wanted to turn my back and walk away without a word.  A woman who was capable of such evil deserves her tears.  Right?  BUT GOD had prepared my heart for this moment and suddenly  the love and compassion of Christ flooded my heart and I was able to walk over to her, hold up her face and look into her eyes with as much love as I could muster.  I held her and prayed for her as she cried in my arms and I thanked her for allowing Esther's freedom.  I suddenly saw the value in her from God's eyes and I was compelled to love this poor lost and broken soul.   Yet another miracle!

 Broken people break things.  Hurting people hurt people.  But...the kingdom of Heaven is like this.  God does not desire that any should perish and he values each one of His children because they are made in His image and a huge price has been paid to redeem them from the consequences of their sin.    His perfect love heals the broken places, binds up wounds , and it sets us free If we would only receive of it and let God do what only He can do.    I am continually astonished at the power of His love when I allow it to work through my life. I have to admit, I don't always do this but this day, as we drove away from the village, hearts soaring and rejoicing over the miracle of Esther, I included a heartfelt thank you to God for changing my heart and enabling me to partner with him on His mission to so LOVE the world!

Love from the road,

Julie

As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.     Ezekiel 33:11

Eyes That See

Blessed are your eyes for they see 

and your ears for they hear.

Math 13:16

Saying Goodbye....

This is the last blog I will send from Cambodia.  I have so much more to report but that will come on my two day journey home.  I am thankful for the long layovers because it provides time for me to process all that I have seen.  

Back in January, I remember praying a prayer about seeing.  I think from a purely personal standpoint with God it was a prayer sent with as much heart felt intensity as any I have prayed.   "God, please let me see! Let me see what you see." I have to be honest, at the time I was hoping to see angels and heavenly visions like the accounts I have heard from others.  I really believed it would help me to more effectively minister to others if I had deeper insight into the heavenly realms where angels abide.  I still believe that to be true but God had something quite different to show me. He showed me his heart for the children.  I never expected to see their pain as vividly as I have seen it.  I never expected to feel it so deeply when I saw it.  I knew that it would break my heart for sure to see the suffering of these kids, but God opened up my eyes in such a way that I physically ached for them.  

I had to say goodbye to them.  They knew I was only here for a few weeks so they were prepared.  But I was not.   The last time I saw them, they were driving away in a van back to the border.  Back to their parents or whoever the adults are that they live with.  Some sleep in the streets so they were on their way back to nobody.  The window of the van was open and we were saying goodbye.  They were hugging and holding on and I was telling them to be strong, to take care of each other and no matter what to always remember that God loves them and there is hope.  

As I watched them drive away, all I could think of is that it takes so much more faith to leave them than it ever did to come.   I must trust God for their care.  I don't know what else my heart can do.  I know that God can do anything and I can already see in the life of Esther how quickly that can happen.   I know that God sees the pain of these kids because he has shown me what he sees.  I know that God is moving here because the world is beginning to see.  

This is the kingdom of Heaven...to see who God sees, stop when he shows them to you, and do what He tells you to do.   There are hurting people right in front of us all day.  They live in their cars.  They are being beaten.  They are sick.  They are suffering.   Ask God for eyes that see today.

Love from the road.

Julie

Art Therapy

Psalm 6:8-9 (NKJV)

For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.

[9] The LORD has heard my supplication;

The LORD will receive my prayer.

Art Therapy

As the days fly by and I am nearing the end of my mission, I have been thinking quite a lot about prisoners.  I see them daily here in Poipet.  They are in the brothels,  women who are owned as slaves.  They are on the streets - children who are driven by fear to sell themselves for money.  They are forbidden to speak of their captivity because the penalties for honesty in their lives is severe.  This is what makes the effort to rescue them so difficult.  Until there is validation of their captivity, not much can be done to change their circumstances.  The children on the street are especially guarded. They have been taught through the use of violence that they must never speak of the adults who beat them, drug them,  and sell them to foreigners on a daily basis.  They live everyday of their lives driven by fear.

One of the things that has been most successful in breaking the silence and overcoming the fear that these children have is trust.  This is why we come.  We feed them, play with them, do their hair and love them... and they begin to speak.  It is wonderful and horrifying all at the same time.  It is wonderful because now we have a foundation of truth to begin rescue attempts but it is horrifying because now we live forever knowing what they live through every day.  There is no more doubt.

One of our team members is trained in art therapy.  During one of our kids night outreaches, she was able to sit with a few of the border kids and walk them through this process.  The interesting thing about art is that it comes from the heart so the kids do not feel as if they are betraying a truth as they communicate the horrors of their captivity.  At one point, they were asked to draw their fears.  The pictures were heartbreaking.  This is the man who sells me.  This is the man who beats me.  This is a ghost that looks like a vulture who haunts me.  One boy who is sold to men drew himself in a skirt with the man who sells him.  

The children are then led through a therapy process to help them process this fear.  It is a small window of opportunity which gives them coping mechanisms that in a small but powerful way can help them get through their day.  

As I looked through the pictures, and  saw a tangible representation of their fear, I could do nothing but weep for them.  They will rarely allow themselves to cry.  They cannot.  They have to be strong or they will be consumed by the grief.  

The kingdom of Heaven is like this.  We can cry for those who cannot.  We can grieve for those who cannot.  We can pray for those that cannot find words to pray for themselves.     I don't know how much more my heart can break but I am willing to offer it as a sacrifice to break for them.  I know that God hears my prayers.  I know that he counts my tears and saves them and so I let myself cry for them because right now they cannot cry for themselves.

Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. [6] He who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him.   Psalm 126:5-6

Love from the road,

Julie

Spa Day

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NKJV)

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

Also He has put eternity in their hearts.

Spa Day

One of the coolest things to watch on this mission is the way each team member has come with certain strengths and talents and we just fell into a beautiful rhythm, each one simply doing what they do best.  Some of the team members  have a passion for evangelism and they are so excited to simply walk the streets and share the love of Jesus. Some have a heart to see the sick healed and they could literally spend everyday at the hospitals.  For me, it is the children.  It doesn't seem to matter if they are the village kids, the garbage dump kids, or the little kids who live next to the XP center and come to watch us worship every morning.  I just love being with the children.  To me, they represent the hope of Cambodia. 

The border kids have been heavy on my heart.  These kids spend their days begging and at night they are usually drugged and they are often used for sex.  There is not much that can be done to change their environment because they will say they have parents...somewhere...and they do not appear to be held against their will.  They are simply street kids.  They don't go to school. Nobody watches them. 

Yesterday, a small team of us went to the border area.  We found an outside cafe and gathered about ten of these children.  We bought french fries, cokes and lots of fried rice.  They were so excited...especially the boys!  They were hungry.  Our goal was just to talk with them and to show them love.  We ask about their dreams and their interests and in the process, find out a lot about their daily lives.  Nobody ever hugs or shows interest in them other than to use them so this is truly a treat for them.  There were three little girls in the group, two of which we have become quite attached to over the past two weeks.  One of them we call John the Baptist because she is wildly unkept and beautifully strong.  She is apparently the ring leader of the border gang...all 50 pounds of her!  We had some nail polish, combs, pretty hair bows and jewelry we had made for them.  The girls were so excited to get their nails done and their hair braided. Thank God I remembered that french braid...it has been a few years!  We cleaned them up, did their hair and nails and gave them the jewelry.  Oh my gosh...they were so excited.  Little girls are little girls no matter where or  HOW they live.  You could tell they were getting a true glimpse of just how beautiful they are.  That truth often gets lost on the streets.

I think the Kingdom of Heaven really begins here.  God first loves us and, He invites us to come and fellowship with Him.  He takes us even covered with all of the dirt of our lives, and  cleans us up.  He feeds us and reminds us of the dreams that are hidden in our hearts.   He helps us to see the beauty in who he made us to be. 

 I love that today, he offered us an opportunity to partner with Him in this process.

Best spa day ever!

Love from the road,

Julie

To be known

O Lord, you have searched me and known

me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all  my ways

Psalm 139:1-3

To be known..

There is a coffee shop next to our hotel.  Being the creature of habit that I am, I show up every day at 7am.  The young girl behind the counter greets me with a wonderful smile and says hello in english.  I say hello in Khamai.  "same thing?" she asks. Then she waits for me to give her my makeshift coffee sleeve that I cut out from a a neoprene water bottle holder.  This morning routine is just a simple thing but it has brought joy to my heart and helped to ease the homesickness that screams so loudly when I wake up in the morning half way around the world from my family.  You see, she knows me. 

There is a young man who works on the business side of the coffee shop.  He is smart and I know that he has a bright future.  He comes in and we speak of business.  I am encouraging him to continue his education and learn Chinese.  He is a christian and he has many questions about business,  how to develop leadership, and how to hear Gods voice and follow it.  I see a pastoral call on his life that is  strong and I love that the Lord has allowed me to speak into that.  I get a kick out of seeing him walk through the door because he is happy to see me.  He knows me.

I am walking out on the streets quite a bit every day.  Sometimes I am down by the border area where the street kids hang out.  Many of these kids are used for sex at night.  They are often drugged, beaten, and forced out of fear to comply with the adults who see them as a commodity.  It is easy to lose all sense of value under these conditions. These have caught my eye and captured my heart.  Though my visit is brief,  I want them to know that they are special enough to be noticed. As I walk the streets, it just blesses me to hear them yell Helloooo and come running so that I can hug them.   I make sure that I open my eyes as big as I can and smile like a crocodile so they know that yes, indeed I have recognized them. They love that I notice  them, and I love that they know me.  I have taught them the knuckle explosion handshake and they love it.  They wait patiently until I get to them so we can knock our knuckles and explode our fingers!  It is OUR handshake. 

You see, the kingdom of Heaven is like this.  God beckons us to notice.  There are so many people that we pass every day that just need to be seen.  You cannot imagine what kind of hope springs forth in a heart when it is noticed.  This screams, you are important. You are valuable.  You are not invisible. The truth is there is not one precious child hidden from the eyes of God.  It is our privilege to be His hands, His feet, and His smile.  We are already well known in the heavenly realms but because He loves us and  wants to remind us that we too are so valuable, he brings people along that notice us!

 It is almost 7 am here in Cambodia.  I am heading out for coffee and then I will walk the few blocks to the XP center and say HELLOOO to the kids on the street and tell them what time it is!   ITS KNUCKLE EXPLOSION TIME!!  :)

Love from the road,

Julie

Blind Eyes

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly 

above all that we ask or think, according to the power 

that works in us, to HIM be the glory.

Ephesians 3:20-21 

Blind Eyes

 Here in Cambodia, it is not difficult to find incredible suffering and needs so great that any solution I could come up with would in no way be sufficient.    Because of this, I am learning to pray for and to expect exceedingly abundant solutions beyond what I can imagine. This is becoming my new normal.

We returned to Esther's village yesterday.  We took the whole team and a truck full of food.  When we arrived, Esther's guardian brought her out to us?  You could tell she had been quickly dressed and an attempt was made to wash her up a bit.   I noticed that she had a gash on her head and new bruises on her body.  The urgency in my heart to see her rescued was great and I sent up silent prayers from the depths of my heart.  It took every ounce of self control to see the new evidence of cruelty to this child and maintain  my composure.  Most of you know me so you can imagine how much  of a miracle this was. I truly had to cast this care upon The Lord in faith knowing that. He had a plan for little Esther.

  We have learned that the woman responsible for her is her grandmother because both parents have died of aids.   The Cambodian team took the her aside to speak with her and the rest of our team set out to do what they do best...just love on people.  I brought Esther a pink hair bow and she was so excited to receive that, a comic book that tells the story of Jesus, and a bag of bananas.  Not much right?  But it gave me joy to see that big beautiful smile on her face.  She was most interested in the comic book and so I had one of our interpreters assist in telling her the story of Jesus.  Her eyes were literally riveted to the book.  Afterward we prayed with her and a few of the other children who had gathered and I know that Esther understood the truth about Jesus and her Heavenly Father.  I also noticed that some of the villagers were calling her by her new name which is a wonderful thing because they are learning to value her.

The discussion went well and the first steps have been taken in the process to rescue Her.   But wait...more than we could ask or imagine right? 

As we got back into our van, we were all rejoicing and sharing what God did during our visit.  A few of the men got to pray with the elder of the village, which was awesome, and oh yes, two of the team members prayed for a woman who was almost completely blind and she regained her sight!

My greatest hope and prayer was that we could  go safely into the village and have a successful talk with Esther's guardian,  but God wanted to do exceedingly abundantly more than that.  He wanted Esther to hear the story of His love.  He wanted the elder of the village to receive a blessing, and he wanted to open the eyes of the blind.

This is what the kingdom of heaven is like.   You pray for what you need God to do and He answers with exceeding abundance.  He provides out of the overflowing storehouse of His love.

My expectation of the miraculous is literally being rocked beyond imagination.  My understanding of the power of God and the authority He has given to us in Christ has exploded.  What a mighty God we serve!

Love from the road,

Julie