Ode to White Chicken

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:11-12

Ode to white chicken...

Last week we said goodbye to White Chicken. When my youngest child left for college, my husband got me three chickens, one for every child who was then out of my empty nest. At one point they had names but mostly I just called them my biddies because they reminded me of three little old ladies. They balked at one another, they fought, they squawked and clucked constantly, but for all their apparent contention, they seemed to move in a lovely rhythm of sisterhood, never straying far from one another, each one knowing where they fit in the pecking order.   White chicken was the most vocal of all. It was her job to sound the alarm when the other two were trying to lay eggs.  Unlike Lucy, (Chicken number 2) her egg production was sparse at best, but every morning when the other two layed their eggs,  Whitey would strut outside the coup and scream at the top of her lungs as if to announce the greatest event in history.  Not the most social, that was chicken number two, Red Chicken. White never really grew comfortable with us but would always stay a safe distance away.  I think she was a bit of an introvert. True, she was an odd bird, but it was clear that she was the caretaker of the flock.  Yes, she was a leader for sure and Lucy and  Red were content to follow her.  She would lead them around the yard in search of good places to forage for bugs and I often observed her strutting back and forth like a sentry while the other two contentedly dug around in the dirt. She was the one who figured out how to escape the coup, raid my garden, and led the charge in the hostile takeover of an old barbecue in the backyard, which really did make a perfect roost!  When she became ill, from whatever chicken born illness would eventually take her chicken life, our hearts were saddened to watch her strength fade.  What did not grow weak however was her desire to maintain her role as caretaker of the flock.  No matter how hard it was to keep up with the other two, she found the strength to do it.   Red chicken was struck by the same illness and quickly became too weak to move.  Even though she was clearly worse off than Red, White walked slowly across the yard and as she reached the place where Red was lying, in what would be her last display of love and commitment, she spread her wing over her and lay down next to her. White chicken breathed her last that day but not before teaching me an incredible lesson about sisterhood. She was all in! There was no every hen for herself attitude with Whitey.  She knew her role in the flock and she fulfilled that role with all her chicken might. She may not have been the most social, like Red, or the most productive, like Lucy, but she was smart and crafty and she had one BIG voice, especially when she was singing the praises of her sister hens. There is a kingdom lesson in the life of White Chicken wouldn't you agree?  

Today, in honor of White chicken, think outside the box, let yourself be comfortable doing what you are great at, and stop comparing yourself to others.   Take just one moment to sing the praises of one of your sisters, and despite the squawking, and balking we sometimes do as women, take a minute to let your sister friends know you are indeed there for them and you are  ALL IN!

Love from home,

Julie

Finding Me.

For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

When Christ, who is our life, is revealed,

then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.…

Col 3:3-4

It has been a while since I have fired up the QT blog.  After  the story of Esther's release it felt strange to add anything beyond that and so, I let it sit.  Now, just a bit over six months later I think it is time for me to continue. Esther, she is doing so wonderfully.  She is growing and learning and has a reputation of being a little fashionista. I received a picture of her the other day and she had at least six bright plastic rings on her fingers and even more clips in her hair.  She is funny and joy filled.  Just to think where she was this time last year still stings my heart but at the same time drives me to my knees in thanksgiving to God for the miracle of her life.  But even more than that, while God allowed me to participate in the finding of Esther,  she got to participate in finding of  me.  Not that I was lost in the sense that most people might think, but I believe that there was treasure hidden inside me that I never knew existed.  The journey that ended in Esther's release required a dependence upon God like I have never known before.  There were days that we knew unless He moved, we were helpless.  I learned a minute by minute intimacy with Him and this is where I learned the most about me.  I found strength and resolve, love and compassion, patience, that was a real surprise, and courage beyond the measures I thought capable.  In Christ,  I found the me He always planned for me to be. Sounds like a song I know, maybe even a bit cheesy, but it is so true.  There has always been a me that God sees even when I cannot.  It is this me that He makes plans for that are good and that will bring a future and a hope.  It is this me that he calls and sends out with the Good News because He knows the me He always intended me to be is perfectly suited to every task He has planned.  This me is the one that I find in Christ.  I don't find it in the daily practices of religion or in anything I can accomplish on my own.  What I find there is the best I can be but it is not the me He sees.   That me is  the one He says He knew before I ever took a breath.  The one He says can do all things through him.  The one who can do greater things than He even did.  The one He calls His friend and His bride. As I seek  Him and find Him revealed in my life, I find me in the revelation of Him.  
He is planted in my heart and I am hidden in His.

Love from home,

Julie

The testimony of our lives leaves a track in the lives of others.  - Quail Tracks

Kodak Moment

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 

 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 

Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Luke 12:6-7

Kodak Moment
Morning came quickly and the team was up and ready to get on our way.  We were concerned that Esther's mom would have once again changed her mind so it was our intent to get to the village before dawn.  We still needed to pick up yet another family member and get the signature of the village chief.  As we raced against time across the dirt roads to pick up the family member we were reminded once again that indeed this mission was pulling out every ounce of fortitude we had.  After picking him up in his village we had a choice to make.  Turn left and once again head down the land mine road or turn right and go the long way which would cost us much valuable time and we could risk missing Esther.  We discussed this amongst ourselves and agreed, " Land Mine Road" was it.  We took off down the muddy road, this time speeding against the clock.  The truck was bouncing and sliding all over the road and I joined my Cambodian team member in closing my eyes and praying hard!  I have decided I really hate land mines!  ALOT!

We found the home of the village chief and dragged him out of bed to sign our papers.  I am not sure if that is even okay or acceptable in this culture but there he was in his shorty shorts, hair a mess, sitting at the table with our team leader signing our official paperwork.  I wish I had a real picture of this but trust me, it was quite a sight.   We raced to Esther's house and burst out in joy to find her there.  Her mother had washed her up and was ready to send her with us.  We quickly got her in the truck and once inside with doors locked I think I breathed for the first time that morning!  The funny thing was the mother climbed into the back of the truck.  Oh heck no she didn't!  But....yes she did.  Apparently we had to deliver all signed paperwork to the family home and we were to deliver Esther's mother with it so off we went.  Esther in the front of the truck, mother in the back staring in the window.  Not funny. As we drove away with Esther, the villagers who had silently watched her nightmare for so many years came out to wave and say goodbye to her, calling her by name.  Bye Bye Esther.  It is said that it takes a village to raise a child but in this case it took a little child to raise this village to a new understanding of compassion and love.      
After jumping through what seemed like a thousand hoops we pulled up to the family home and delivered the papers as well as Esther's mother.   The really cool thing that happened next was that the whole family walked out.  Esther's mom and her three adult children, all who had previously rejected her and had not showed an ounce of care for Esther walked up to the truck and asked if they could take a family picture.  Yes, you heard right, a FAMILY picture.  Okay, just seeing them all line up side by side with little Esther in front brought tears to my eyes.  Reconciliation of this family is happening.  They were going to keep Esther's mom there and you could tell she was elated.  She was actually happy to send Esther with us to her new home and the whole situation took on a new perspective.  They clearly saw a new value in  Esther and were excited about the possibilities for her future.  Esther, this little one who was never even given a name, who was never given a thought for her care, and was looked at as merely a commodity all of a sudden stood with her entire family behind her and had the most wonderful Kodak moment I think I have ever seen.  I quickly shot a picture of them and will keep this close to my heart as a reminder that God is not finished with this miracle.
 I believe that Esther is the first of many special needs children who have been so neglected and abused in a culture that does not understand their value. I believe she will be a voice for them and her story will break through cultural boundaries and open the prison doors for many, many children just like her.  I believe there will be healing in this family and they will one day be a part of the story telling.
As we drove away from the family home, I finally let myself cry tears of joy over this child bouncing around in the back seat with me.  We had a full day ahead of us in the car with this little peanut.  She was feeling safe and happy, talking away  and excited for her trip.  I have taken so many pictures  throughout this journey but the picture of Esther finally passing out from exhaustion on the way to her new home and sprawled out in Kristens lap in the backseat...right after she peed on her...will be one I will forever hold dear.
Ha Ha...all I can think to say is we serve a God who sees every sparrow that falls.  He sees every tear that we ever cry.  He sees our joy and our pain and He holds our future in his oh so capable hands.
I am beyond thankful to be only a small part of Esther's story and  so privileged  to have been able to tell about it.  My prayer is that you would tell it as well to anyone who will listen.  If enough of us speak of it, I believe that light and truth will begin to burst forth and we will see the end of this dark night of child trafficking.
As for me, well I am home now, recuperating from several days of no sleep, long airplane rides and really bad food.  My body aches a bit and I somewhere along the 20 hours of plane travel, my feet and ankles grew to be twice their normal size. No more Pringles for me! The beginning of my varsity season of life has really started with a bang and I am not sure what else is in store for this old bird but whatever it is I am jumping in with both swollen feet and heart filled with hope and expectation.

Love from home,

Julie

Esther's Song:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKuEwf9W1cQ

Release

"But a certain Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; 

and when he saw him, he felt compassion,

Luke 10:33

Release
All the players that needed to be assembled gathered at Esther's village.  My heart dropped as we rounded the curve and I saw that her home was not locked up as it had been the past few days.  Esther was in the village.  Thank you God!
The mother saw us and immediately withdrew to hide but eventually she was compelled to sit and talk with us.  Her family and the government case worker started discussions while the rest of us kept the kids and the demon possessed aunt busy.  After a heated discussion, the decision was made that we were to leave without Esther.  The mother clearly did not want to let go of her.  When I heard this every cell in my body cried out at this injustice.  I looked at the team leader who had stayed back with me and we both said in agreement...NO WAY!  We do not accept this answer and we are not leaving without the child.  We then decided it was time to enter the conversation.  I held back just a bit, fighting with my own insecurity.  Should I go over and try to talk with the mother? What difference could I possibly make?  I don't belong here?  Now, thankfully the protector in me decided to fight the insecurity and I walked over to the discussion.  I could see the women all circled around the mother who was seated in a hammock hanging below a raised hut.  She was crying and repeating over and over that she would not give up Esther.  Now as I walked up I was immediately aware of her daughter who had come with the family group.  Esthers mom had been estranged from her adult children for a while and though they were all present, none of them seemed to be the least bit compassionate about her struggle.  Okay, understandably so, but they did not have knowledge of the extent of the child abuse issues so understanding that, I saw that it was strange to see them so clearly emotionless at her tears.  I felt immediately compelled to move past the crowd, kneel in the mud beside her and wrap my arms around her.  She didn't understand my words, but she understood my touch.  I said I was so sorry she was afraid to be alone.  I told her I understood the fear of not being able to provide for herself.  I held her and whispered a prayer from deep within my spirit in her ears.  At this point, the miraculous began to happen.  The daughter was moved with compassion for her mother and the whole atmosphere shifted.  Tears welled up in the daughters eyes and she began to speak more compassionately to her.  After about two minutes the mother grabbed Esther's hand and gave her to our team leader!  Miraculous!
There was still much to do, papers to sign, negotiations for how much she was able to see Esther in the future etc. etc.
At one point I looked over at the team leader who is still a young woman yet so wise and wonderfully gifted at this ministry, sitting in the dirt with an Apple computer open, patiently detailing the agreement and in the background I could see Kristen our teenage Canadian Missionary playing Monkey in the middle with the demon possessed aunt who was barking and growling.  I thought of course...this is just another day in the kingdom right!  Everything seemed to be going well until the mother demanded to go with Esther to her new home!  UGH!  Yes that pretty much describes how we felt.  That and are you kidding me?  We managed to get her to agree to spend only one more night with Esther and the next day she was to release her to us.  It was one of the hardest things we had to do...even harder than driving down a road with land mines but we left that day without Esther trusting her once more to the care of our heavenly father.  I held her and prayed for her that God and his heavenly host of angels would protect her and then gave her back to her mother.
There was still much to do, several hours more of driving from town to town, printing contracts, getting signatures, discussing with every family member the details of Esther's release.  It was after midnight when we finally pulled up to the hotel.  We knew that we had to be up before daylight so that Esther's mother would not have a chance to cross the border with her again so exhausted and hungry after our dinner, which included pringles and some really bad chocolate chip cookies, we fell into bed and tried to get a few hours of sleep.
Tired seemed to be the key word here but sleep for me, was impossible.  I stayed up all night praying that Esther would be safe and thankfully, so many of you stayed up with me.  The texts and emails from family and friends poured in and I knew that a great cry was going up to heaven on behalf of little Esther.  I have never felt so supported with love and prayer as those few hours.
You see, I think this was really the key to Esther's release.  The mother needed to feel understood and supported.  Her brokenness, rejection,  fear,  and loneliness were what drove her to do what she did and when those issues were addressed, she found the courage to let go.  Now I in no way condone her actions but I understand her pain.  Release came when she was surrounded with a spirit of compassion and acceptance not for her behavior but for her.  I am not sure what will happen with the family but it was at least nice to see the beginning steps of reconciliation.  I believe it is in Esther's best interest for her mother to heal, for the family to mend as well,  and for the generations of hatred and darkness that have plagued them to finally come to an end.  This is the beginning of the more we can ask for or imagine miracle of Esther's release.

Love from the road,

Julie

Endure

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, 

for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Hebrews 13:16

Endure...
I knew a time would come when I would be faced with a decision.  What am I really willing to risk to save Esther?  What discomfort to provide for hers?  What danger would I face to see her protected.  On a small scale the events of the day o Esther's freedom really challenged our whole team to decide if any cost would be too great and would we even risk our lives to save hers.  I have to say, it sounds like a no brainer right.  Sitting here at my office desk, far removed from the danger or discomfort of those decisions it is easy to say, of course I would do anything.  I think I would have answered those questions that way in a heartbeat if anybody would have asked me BUT when the time came to actually walk that out I realized just how strong the human desire for comfort and safety in me really is.

The morning we were assembling all of the players to get Esther I had to make a decision.  I was scheduled to fly home later that afternoon and knew that if I did not change my flight I would not be able to be present.  Now most of you know me, I have no problem flying all over the world but there are a few things, old lady things, that I just seem to need in order to keep my sanity on those long flights.  One of those being I am an airplane seat snob.  The other being I hate to book flights with unrealistic connection times knowing that most likely I will get stuck in some airport for the evening if things do not go perfectly smooth.  I had called my husband to have him check to see how much it would cost me to change my flight.  Normally it would be pretty much an arm an a leg but miraculously I was actually able to change my flight and got exactly $13 back.  That is unheard of. The problem was I had to give up my really good seat on the flight I was originally scheduled to fly on and take my chances on a last minute flight that was close to being sold out and one that I would most likely have to run to catch the connection or get stuck somewhere in Asia.  I know, some of you are probably thinking come on Julie really? Save the hate mail.... I get that,  but this blog is about recording the journey as it honestly played out so I admit, I had to think about it.  I was trying to convince myself that I was okay not being there but I knew better.  I heard God say, what are you willing to endure for this.  Can you trust me.  After about 3 seconds of contemplation I did realize there was nothing that could keep me from staying on  and so the hubby was given the green light to change the flight.  We hopped in the truck, headed out to get the uncle which turned into the aunt along with the entire family.  We were all packed in the back of a pickup truck so tightly there was no room to move.  The weather was scorching and we sat for over an hour staring at people we have never met before wrapped together in spaghetti like contortions on the bed of the truck. It was hilarious.  Again, I have a really big space bubble so I am still laughing at the memory of that truck ride.  But what was I willing to endure right?
We had to make a bit of a detour to pick up yet more of the family on the way out to the village. By this time, I had moved inside the truck and left the muddy, bouncy dirt road back of the truck ride to the younger folks.  After taking the detour we found ourselves on a road barely wide enough to be called a road and clearly very rarely traveled.  The Cambodian team member then announced to us that this road was not safe at all and that it was actually a road with land mines.  By this time, we were committed and could not turn around.  It had recently rained so the road was very soft and muddy which is the very worst conditions for tripping a land mine...great.  I was even more concerned when the Cambodian team member closed her eyes and began to pray.  What would you be willing to endure Julie?  Land Mines? Discomfort?  Heat? Fear? Panic? Trauma?  Clearly an exaggeration but you get the picture right.  As we drove down the mine road, I was reminded of a dear friend of ours who did several tours in Iraq.  One of his jobs for a season was to drive the chaplain around from base to base.  He told us that every time he had this guy in the truck, they got blown up by a roadside explosive yet nobody was ever hurt.  It actually became a joke with them.  The chaplain is in the car so expect to be blown up!  In a really strange and somewhat demented way this comforted me so I felt compelled to share it with the team.  " Don't worry this guy I know used to get blown up all the time when he drove the chaplain but nobody ever got hurt!"  I am not sure it brought much comfort but contemplating the magnificence of God's protection in similar circumstances seemed like a good strategy to keep my mind off the LAND MINES!  Everyone took a deep breath when we finally made it to safety but I couldn't stop thinking about the question, " What are you willing to endure?"  How much of your life are you willing to lay down for someone you barely know?" What injustice are you willing to fight for even if it means you pay the price?  Tough questions I know.  I also thought about how many times back home, I was too busy to stop for the one.  I only had a few minutes to get into and out of the grocery store.  I don't want the inconvenience of driving way out to visit someone in need on my only night off?  I can't find the time to return a phone call?  Convicting right?  I wasn't able to really think too deeply about it but now that I am home, far away from that road, I am compelled once again to answer those same questions.  What are you willing to endure for the privilege of serving others?  It is my hope that I would begin to live with a greater awareness of that question and be able to offer up my comfort as a sacrifice to God so that I can be of greater service to others.
A side note about that flight....I arrived at the airport to find that oh by the way, we put you on an earlier ( more expensive) flight at no cost, upgraded your seat to one that reclines and now you will not have to worry about making that connection.  See....God will be a debtor to no one.  That's how he rolls!
I love it!

Love from the road,

Julie

Fire

I am posting several blogs in the next day or two so make sure to check to see if you missed any.

 You make known to me the path of life; 

you will fill me with joy in your presence, 

with eternal pleasures at your right hand. 

Psalm 16:11

Fire
I mentioned in my last post that while we were with the government worker it just so happened that an opportunity popped up that allowed us to sew into our relationship.  I have to take this moment to share with you what happened.
On our way out to speak with Esther's family, the case worker received a call from her office saying that a village near the border area, where some of our border kids live, had a fire break out and three families lost everything and were left completely homeless.  When she hung up the phone she explained to us that she needed to try to find a way to provide food, clothing and some temporary shelter for them.  There were twelve children affected by the fire.  Now it just so happened that before I left for this trip, many of my friends and family members generously gave donations to the mission and I knew instantly that this was one of the things I was supposed to help with.  The case worker was overjoyed when I offered to help the families.  What would it take?  Rice? Clothes?  Supplies to get them on their feet again.  No problem.  God had prepared this in advance!
After speaking with Esther's family we decided to regroup the next day and head out to her village together which left the rest of the evening to deal with the fire.  We went to the marketplace and bargained for one hundred pounds of rice, oil, canned meat and supplies for temporary shelter.  These loaded in the back of the truck, we set out again on the hour drive back to the village.  Kristen and I decided since we had to ride in the back of the truck in the Cambodian heat we would make a bed out of the rice which is by the way the only way to ride in the back of a truck in complete comfort.  We fell fast asleep on our rice bed secure in knowing that we were indeed walking out the path that God had laid  before us.
When we arrived at the village and saw the devastation we were so moved with compassion for these families.  A puddle of black soot and mud was all that was left of three homes.  As we got off the truck and assembled the families and the twelve kids everyone began to point at one little boy about four or five years old.  He did look a bit squirly so their cries of, " He did it" kind of made me laugh a bit.  Of course he did!
We distributed the food and took a quick survey of the kids so that we could buy and bring back clothes for them.  Lots of Girls a few older boys, a newborn baby all with only the clothes on their backs.  Now, it just so happened that before I left ( you see a pattern here)  I had stopped by Old Navy and after telling the story of the kids here in Poipet, the manager gave me a discount to purchase a bunch of clothes for the border kids.  When the twelve border kids morphed into 40 I was bummed that I did not have enough for everybody and wasn't sure what I was going to do.  I hate to give to some and not others.  As I surveyed the kids affected by the fire, I remembered the duffle bag of clothes back in my room.  Clothes for about twelve kids right?  Of course there is.  I thought I had just enough and needed only to run to the market place for a few more little girl clothes...so many girls!
The next morning we pulled up in the village with the clothes, lined up the kiddos and began the distribution.  Imagine our surprise when we discovered that a few of the little girls in dresses were actually little boys!  We laughed so hard and in the end, the little boys were content to receive the clothes we gave them even if they were a tad girlie.  It did just so happen that as I was buying them, I was prompted to get outfits that were a bit more generic.  I was not sure why I was drawn to these at the time but it seems like this is the trip of the just so happens so of course we had just enough not only for the kids but for the parents.
In the end, it was a beautiful way to assist families in need, strengthen a key partnership in this effort to rescue the children and hey, while I was in the village one little boy taught me something called Gangnam Style.  Now you all know this is a worldwide phenomena but I am a bit sheltered and apparently  had to travel to a remote village in Cambodia to get caught up with pop culture!  Anyways, the case worker was thrilled, the families were so appreciative of our help and me, well I got to do what I love to do the most...feed children.

Love from the road,

Julie

Keys

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: 

and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: 

and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Matthew 16:19 

Keys
Driving away from Esther's village that first day was nothing short of frustrating.  I was fighting fear and discouragement in a big way as I came face to face with the realization that our best efforts still left us in such a powerless position. At this point it seemed the mom was still in control of Esther's future and if she decided to leave and not return with Esther there was not much in the natural we could do.
Before I left the strangest thing was happening. I was finding little brass keys everywhere.  On the floor beneath my seat in church as I worshipped.  In front of the podium I preach at on Monday nights, in my office and in my bedroom at home.  When I arrived in Thailand my roomie even found one on the floor of the hotel room.  When she picked it up the revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. There are keys that God has given me which will open the doors to freedom.  I knew that this trip was going to be about strategy and that if I would remember to seek God answers to the challenges I would face, I would receive heavenly strategy to open locked doors.
As we drove away that day, God reminded me of those keys.  My heart was encouraged to say a silent prayer that God would reveal the strategy and immediately he brought to mind the family of Esther's mom.  I knew that they would be a critical key in Esther's freedom.  Now the family situation is a complete puzzle in and of itself and would take more than an entire blog to explain but suffice it to say that Esther and her mom and the demon possessed aunt had all been banished from the family circle.Through a miraculous course of events a few months earlier the head of the family and Esther's older children had been found and they were in favor of Esther's freedom.  I immediately knew that their presence would be critical.  Later on as our team assembled over a cup of coffee, we prayed and discussed this first key to our puzzle.  We opened the word and God began to lead us in heavenly strategy. Every team member seemed to have a key to the solution and as we shared our hearts were once again encouraged and hope sprang forth.  I was reminded of a recent message that I gave on the book of Micah.  There was a passage from Micah 6:4, " "Indeed, I brought you up from the land of Egypt And ransomed you from the house of slavery, And I sent before you Moses, Aaron and Miriam."  As I shared this with the team we all knew in our heart of hearts that several people had to come together at one time, in one place to see this happen.  Moses, the representative of the nation of Israel and the law, Aaron, the representative of the priesthood and advocate of the people before God, and Miriam the representative of the prophetic voice.  We were certain that this meant, the government official that was responsible for the case, the head of the family who represented the priesthood, and us.  We represented the prophetic voice of Esther's life.  We immediately knew what had to be done. We contacted the government case worker and it just so happened that she would be available for whatever we needed. We picked her up, jumped in the truck and drove out to the family home one hour away in hope that they would see us and agree to join us in our effort.  God gave us favor and clear passage with both parties and we planned to meet up the next day and head out to Esther's village praying to God she would be there. On the drive out to the family home, I kept hearing God say that this woman, the government case worker was a strategic partnership here is Poipet and held keys to open the doors of freedom in so many areas.  On our drive out it just so happened that an opportunity popped up for us to partner with her on another project and God allowed us to sew into this relationship in a beautiful way.  But...that is another blog!  For now, we had strategy, we had hope, and we believed with all of our heart that God had given us the keys to secure Esther's freedom....more to follow....

Love from the road,

Julie